Release day marks a very special day in an author’s journey. It’s the day when we finally get to share our baby with the world. Writing a book is a labor of love. From the wondrous moment when inspiration strikes, through getting to know the characters, who they are, how they react, what their motivations are … essentially, what makes them tick, it is a journey with ups and downs. Hours upon hours of research, writing, and the never-ending editing cycle go into each book for me and when at last it is deemed done, we send it off to gain someone else’s acceptance for publication. And even after the publishing home is determined, there are more hours spent on getting the book ready for its final debut.

Up until release day, the book is our own. We can mold and shape at will and a bajillion times do a last minute tweak or two. But once it is released, the book belongs to the world and each reader brings their own experiences to the act of reading and we, the author, the creator, are no longer in control. We cannot tell people how to read the book … the reader will either see what we intended to put on the page or they won’t.

So, The Journal of Angela Ashby no longer belongs just to me … may the world embrace Angela, Mallory, Tatiana, and the rest of the characters and story — it is your time to fly, Angela. And now it is time for me to focus on my next work.

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The Journal of Angela Ashby will be published Fall 2018 and I cannot wait to share it with you all. It is a Middle Grade novel with a target audience of 5th through 8th graders and has a theme of bullying intertwined with magical elements — a little unusual for me, but the story demanded to be magical. I look forward to sharing not only the full cover, but more about the book itself as we barrel toward the release date.

The post A Little Title Tease appeared first on Be the Cat.

Cole Alpaugh

I was tagged by Cole Alpaugh in the Meet My Character Blog Tour. I met Cole through our mutual friend and his writing partner, Regan Leigh. Regan was helping Cole get the word out about his first book, The Bear In a Muddy Tutu and asked whether I’d consider reading it to review. How could I resist such a title??? And once I read the book, I instantly became a fan of Cole and his writing. If you haven’t heard of Cole and his work, definitely check him out.

Baby Golden Lion Tamarin

At the beginning of this year, Italia Gandolfo contacted me and asked me to take a look at a project she had. To date, all my writing work had been in the Young Adult and Middle Grade age categories, but this was a chapter book, intended for 5-8 year olds. While not my normal area for writing, I’m always willing to take on new things as a writer and stretch myself, and I liked the concept, so then co-authored the chapter book with Luke Matthews. And I’d like for you to meet the main character from the book. So let’s get down to the questions:

1. What is the name of your character? Is he fictional or a historic person?
Timmy Hawkins is an eight-year-old fictional boy. By the way, the cute little critter pictured is Rin, a Golden Lion Tamarin, Timmy’s best friend in the WHOLE world.
2. When and where is the story set?
• The story is set in current day, small town America. Timmy lives in a house where there is an empty barn and a lake not too far from home where he can go fishing.
3. What should we know about him?
• Timmy is a smart eight-year-old with a sweet nature trying to cope with a recent move to a new town. He’s shy and has been having trouble making new friends at his new school.
4. What is the main conflict? What messes up his life?
• For Timmy, it’s not a what that messes up his life, it’s a who. Zeke McGee. Zeke is the third-grade bully who terrorizes Timmy every day. No one else will befriend Timmy because they are afraid of drawing Zeke’s attention. No one wants to be bullied.
5. What is the personal goal of the character?
• Timmy’s goal is to be able to go to school without fear of being bullied. And if he made a friend or two in the process, that’d be cool, too.
6. Is there a working title for this novel, and can we read more about it? When can we expect the book to be published?
• The title of the book is Timmy and the Golden Lion Tamarin and it will be coming out from True North Publishing in spring of 2015. To keep up with release and other information, you can subscribe to my newsletter or check out my Facebook Page.

Keep up with more characters as the Meet My Character blog tour continues on 8/25/14. I have tagged the following authors.

Elizabeth Isaacs Author of The Kailmeyra Chronicles Series elizabethisaacs.com	J. S. d’Raven Author of The Envoy’s Interlude www.jsdraven.com	Monica Enderle Pierce Author of Girl Under Glass and Famine stalkingfiction.com

The post Meet My Character – Timmy Hawkins appeared first on Be the Cat.

Cassie photo © Olga Ekaterincheva
School photo © Metalrose

When Cassie Kendall was first mentioned in a conversation between Tom and Katie during Nowhere Feels Like Home, I knew she was annoying and shallow … I didn’t know she was in the running for the Regina George award for meanness. I certainly didn’t expect Katie and Cassie to be friends—because Katie had managed in one day what Cassie never could—capture the attention and affection of Tom Pike.

Cassie is lacking moral responsibility; she’s never been made accountable for her actions. So if someone does her a wrong—real or imagined—she feels it is necessary to decimate the person in return. She will get her way, or someone is going to pay. But as far as Tom is concerned, she’d do better to take a tip from Katie, and put away the feminine wiles and practice on her right hook.

Mean Girl gave me an opportunity to show just how much of a bully Cassie can be, for so little cause. And she’s devious and manipulative—does Katie stand a chance?

Bullying is rampant and the internet has given a wider scope and range to it. The problem we as a community face, is not only against the acts themselves, but against the thought process which I have seen in many comments on incident articles they (meaning the victim of the attack) need to get a thicker skin. Or I survived bullying when I was a kid…. So because it was done to you, it’s okay to continue? Or the victim needs to get tougher, while the bully needs to keep making people tougher? Or how about the thought that the victim just needs to learn to stick up for themselves? Lawrence King is dead because he stood up to a bully. A victim is a person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action and nobody wants to be the victim. We need to learn to have compassion for our fellow human beings and accept them for who they are and until such time as that occurs, we will have a problem with bullies.

Teaser: Katie is conflicted when someone who bullied her is now the victim.

Diary of a Misfit is available now for Kindle. A portion of the proceeds from Diary of a Misfit will go to the Shaka Franklin Foundation for Youth.

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In Piscitella’s own words, “I just snapped. Yes I shouldn’t have done that, but you all do not even come close to understanding all the torment they have put my child through.” And according to the NY Daily News, Piscitella said the boy wrote “disgusting” comments below a photo of her daughter, calling her “a fat f—ing whale” who “didn’t deserve to live because she is so nasty that he wouldn’t even rape her.” I’m not going to defend her actions. She was wrong—dead wrong—to choke a boy. But I do understand the emotions overwhelming her. I would feel the same about anyone hurting one of my loved ones.

Would I stop short of choking a teenager? I’d like to think so, but hope that’s a question I’ll never have to answer. What really raised questions in my mind was not Piscitella’s behavior at that moment, but how the bullying was being handled.

Before the mall incident, the girl’s father reportedly reached out to the bullying student to ask him to stop and was met with obscenities in response. Okay, obviously that tactic did not work and I’m not surprised. In the boy’s mind, online could equate to being impervious to repercussions. But why didn’t the Piscitellas reach out to the bully’s parents (the Tiptons) and bring the matter to their attention? Maybe the Tiptons were unaware of their child’s behavior. Maybe the Tiptons were aware and didn’t care. I’ll go out on a limb and say that the situation was one that should have been dealt with adult to adult and not adult to child.

The next question is: where are the boy’s parents involvement in all of this? It sounds as if the situation had been ongoing for awhile. How is it that a fourteen-year-old has an account which is not monitored by his parents? Did his parents know about the account? If not, then I will cut them a little slack for not being involved with what their son was doing, although it doesn’t absolve them from all responsibility. But if he had an account with their permission, then what happened to their due diligence in monitoring on an occasional basis what his interactions were with other kids online. This should be done for the safety of their son if for no other reason.

As a result of the incident, the Piscitella’s took down their daughter’s Facebook page, which is understandable. They wanted to protect her from any further backlash which might be directed at her after her mother choked her bully. Tipton’s lack of involvement is evidenced in her statement that she didn’t have a chance to see her son’s comments before they were removed. One commenter stated: “The boy’s mother needs to get involved and restrict her son from writing weird stuff on Facebook.” I believe there needs to be a little more involvement than restricting the boy from writing weird stuff…the mentality that allows someone to bully another is something that needs to be addressed on a much deeper level.

And while some will cry that teens deserve their privacy as they are becoming adults, I’ll agree with a caveat—they deserve such privacy as they have earned. And at fourteen, total privacy has not been earned… even for the best kid on earth. Not necessarily because of what the kid might be doing, but there are some nasty people in this world of ours and for their own safety they need to be monitored to ensure that they have an adult’s guidance when dealing with situations beyond their abilities. AND if all parents monitored their kids online activities on a regular basis, don’t you think we’d see a decrease in cyber-bullying?

I’m not naive enough to believe that parental involvement will solve the cyber-bullying issue. Some kids will create accounts their parents don’t know about, but not all will, and most will give thought to what they are posting if they know that mom or dad may be taking a peek. Do kids need an avenue to express their thoughts and feelings? Absolutely. But not at the cost of others, and this is what we must stop.

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Lawrence "Larry" King

Bullying is a hot topic these days. As a nation, we’re grappling with how best to stop bullying and yet more cases are jumping into the public eye. Recently the case of Jamey Rodemeyer has been making headlines, because bullying drove this fourteen-year-old boy to take his own life. At the same time, the case of the Lawrence King shooting by then fourteen-year-old Brandon McInerney may be re-tried because the first trial ended in mistrial.

While I am not a member of the jury, nor did I sit in the courtroom to hear all of the testimony, I’m a little flummoxed by the results of this trial. There is no question as to whether Brandon McInerney shot Larry King. None. There was a roomful of witnesses. My understanding of the situation is that the defense pressed the point that King’s behavior pushed McInerney to the breaking point by wearing feminine attire and via means of sexual harassment with words such as “Love you baby!”. In other words, vilifying the victim.

Brandon McInerney

Wait! We’re leaning toward manslaughter on a charge where the perpetrator had enough forethought to bring the gun to school and shoot the victim execution style twice in the back of the head? It wasn’t his fault because the victim wore high heel boots and make-up to school? I hear echoes of “It wasn’t my fault, your honor. She was asking for it.” in rape cases. Or in this case… it’s not a hate crime because the victim was asking for it. We, as a nation, are running an extreme risk with this type of thought process. While Larry may not have handled the bullying by Brandon in the most appropriate manner, are we really saying that the alleged words “What’s up, baby?” are enough to incite murder?

Middle School and High School are tumultuous times at best. The campus is populated with kids trying to figure out who they are and how they want to express themselves. Larry chose to express himself by wearing make-up and high-heeled boots. This cannot be used as an excuse for deliberately taking his life. Larry dressed that way as an expression of who he was, and that Brandon didn’t like it was… tough — or should have been.

I currently have pink highlights in my hair. There are a few reasons I have done this… most of them personal, but the biggest reason is that it is fun. It is an expression of who I am. I’m sure that there are people who think that it is ridiculous or even worse, it is an expression of underlying deviancy which could lead to horrible things. Should someone be allowed to state as an excuse for shooting me that the pink in my hair incited them to do it? That somehow the pink was taunting them in some way? While this may seem an superfluous example, in my mind it is no different than saying the fact that Larry wore make-up and boots incited Brandon to take action, and therefore we must be lenient toward Brandon.

I do believe that Brandon perpetrated a hate crime. But I also believe that at fourteen-years-old, while he should have known better, there are some extenuating factors in his background which need to be kept in mind. This does not mean I believe the degree of murder should be mitigated down, but I don’t necessarily believe spending the rest of his life in prison is the right answer either. I would like to see Brandon receive intense therapy to help him overcome his past and if determined that he would be able to re-enter the “outside world” as a productive, contributing member of society, then I would like to see that happen. And I would like to see those who abused him dealt with as well.

We have to stop they bullying cycle!

The post The Victim’s Fault? appeared first on Be the Cat.

My story
Armijo High School Fairfield, CA:

My bullying experience began when I was put in a class called metal workshop. I was about 14 or 15 years old, our country was at war with Iraq, and a lot of Mexican students leaving the campus, and my P.E. class while taking to the downtown courtyard to protest the Illegal Immigrant Crackdowns by then-US president George Bush.

When I was in Metal Workshop, there were some students who were nice to me, including the only girl in the class who supervised my arc welding activities while there were some students who were the worst people you could ever imagine, including one student: Big Steve. My mom, stepdad, and I called him that because he was huge and Steve was his first name. Once, I had a bunch of Yu-Gi-Oh cards (my favorite card game) hidden inside my backpack, and when I was on the bus, I found out that they went through my backpack, and stole the cards. The next day, I confronted Steve and asked him if he stole my cards, and he said to me, ”Do you think I play that Jewish shit?” The trading card game itself is from japan, and what he said was just unbelievable. Wonderful people, aren’t they? -_-

A couple of days later, I found the charred remains of my stolen cards near the forging machine, Those B@$&*%s!! and after that, I have my trading cards locked in the teachers office nice and safe when I come to class. One day, when I was outside in the back of the shop, I saw Big Steve and some of the students pouring a can of gasoline inside the ”Cat house.” It’s a place where a bunch of stray cats go to eat catfood, drink water, and rest. I have no idea why the school put that there, but I could assume that’s the reason why California is in debt. And no, they didn’t set it on fire. One day after that, when everyone got into class, my teacher was all saying, ”Which one of you poured gas in the cat house?” Prepare yourself, what happens next will SURPRISE you! I then said, ”Hey teach!” and he said, ”Yes Cecil?” and then I said, ”I know who poured gas in the cat house!” :3 And the teacher said ”Who did?” And I said, ”It was Steve, and those guys right there!”Ha,Ha,Ha, Snitching simple-minded Cecil FTW! >:)

After class started, Big Steve went up to me slowly, put his big meaty hands on my shoulders, and he said, “so, you like to talk shit, huh?” So then, the bullying continued. I got locked inside the shed out behind the shop, Thank god the teacher found out I was locked in there or I would be in there all night, and my mom and Stepfather would be organizing a police search team! My grades in the class were slipping due to Big Steve and the others, and I witnessed some of the students outside reading a porn magazine! 0_0 Soon, my mom got tired of the bullying, and she decided to tell one of my other teachers about the situation. His name was Mr Henderson. He was my Science Teacher, and one of the most popular teachers in the school. He was in his 40’s, though he looked very young. He was very nice and he actually let me bring my 2 guinea pigs to the class to show everyone in class. Little did I realize, I was gonna remember this man forever, for the rest of my life, and so will everyone else.

After hearing what my mom said, Mr Henderson invited me over to his class after school to talk about the bully. “What is Steve’s race/ethnicity?” he asked me. I then said, ”He’s American.” *facepalms* No, Cecil! American means anyone of different race and backgrounds who have citizenship in America! You’re supposed to say he’s “Caucasian!” LOL I then told him every single thing that they did to me, and then after that, Big Steve was never seen again, Probably kicked out of school. and I was transferred to a different class.

A couple of weeks later, my science class had a substitute teacher. I asked one of my classmates where Mr. Henderson was, and they said that he called in sick, and he won’t be in for a while. Then, one day at school, I found out the worst: Mr Henderson passed away while he was in the hospital. This sent a huge shock to every single person in the school, including my friends, my teachers, a girl that I liked, and me. I went home to my mom crying, and I tried to look in the local newspaper for any information about any funerals, because I wanted to attend it. Unfortunately, I couldn’t attend because his family wanted the funeral to be private.

After these events, I got my learners permit from my driving teacher. I was the last person he graduated before he quit teaching drivers ed. to become head of school board. I graduated Armijo High School in the summer of 2006 with a high school diploma.

My parents divorced and we were about to move. I went to my girlfriends house to say my final goodbye before the move. I never saw her again until I visited Facebook a couple years later, and then I decided that she has her own life now and that I should live my life and find another woman to be with and share my life with. One of my dreams We moved to Ohio and I lived there for a few years. I now live in North Carolina.

**********

Thank you so much for sharing your story, Cecil. I think it is fantastic that you, with the help of your mom and a good teacher, were able to address a bad situation successfully.

If anyone else has an experience they’d like to share, I’d be happy to hear it. Send it to me at lkgardner-griffie [ @ } griffieworld ( dot) com.
By sending your story to me, you imply tacit consent for me to post the experience to share with my readers, unless otherwise specified in the email.

The post Cecil FTW appeared first on Be the Cat.

I’m not going to rehash the entire article, but will recommend you hop on over to Dr. Borba’s blog and read it for yourself because it makes several good points. But I’m going to share what about the article struck me the most. The article starts with a Reality Check statement which says that most hate crimes are committed by youth younger than nineteen. That statement caught my attention, but what really captured me was that the key reason for the escalation we are seeing in bullying is due to intolerance.

Dr. Borba has worked with hundreds of student focus groups across the country and after confirming that bullying is a big problem, Dr. Borba asked the students who the bullies choose as their victims. The number one word she hears in response is Different.

The “different” terms kids list for children more likely to be bullied are endless: Too fat. Too thin. A speech problem. Band kids. Too shy or quiet. A different race. In the special ed class. Gifted or too smart. Cries easily. A loner. Gay. Too pretty. Too poor. Dresses funny. Too artsy. Just moved. Teacher’s pet.” In short, any kid who doesn’t fit in or blend in…any child who looks or acts a little bit out of the norm. Bullies too often target a victim based on race, ethnicity, age, religion, disability, beliefs, gender, appearance, behavior or sexual orientation.

Whatever happened to celebrating each person’s unique qualities? Social psychologist Gordon Allport explored the roots of intolerance in The Nature of Prejudice. His findings support the idea that children are born with the capacity for both tolerance and intolerance. Which trait becomes the dominant one depends on their upbringing.

Babies do not know the difference between girls and boys, but they tend to prize the unique and different. A baby explores their world with every sense available and if they have an object, say a toy, they look at it, touch it, smell it, taste it, and they try to make noise with it. Once they have explored all it has to offer, they may become bored with the toy and toss it away (or that could be a game to make you pick it up which is a delightful use of their time for hours on end). When they are done with that toy, they want something new to become acquainted with. What captures and holds their attention for a longer period of time is something different, something unique and unfamiliar. They may approach with caution, but ultimately will explore the new object, unless hurtful in some way, as they did the previous one.

Two and three year-olds have to be taught the difference between boys and girls. I will always remember my sister’s excitement when the little boy down the street finally called her a her instead of he or him. Children always question what they see, especially when it is different, and based on the response of the adult, they learn an attitude as well as the answer to their question. For example: If a child sees someone in a wheelchair and it is an unusual sight, then they might ask why that person doesn’t walk like the rest of us. If your response is to tell the child to hush because you’re afraid someone may take offense, then child learns that people in wheelchairs make you nervous and wheelchair-bound person becomes someone potentially to be feared. They are different and not in a good way. We need to realize the question was asked because the child is trying to make sense of something new (or a new realization) and answering the question in a direct, simple fashion is always best.

If such a simple thing gives off vibrations of intolerance, whether it be with intent or not, what are your reactions to seeing something “different” and what does that say about your tolerance?

The post The Intolerance Factor appeared first on Be the Cat.

The results were an astonishing ~ 0.27 percent of kids aged 11 – 15 are not in school due to severe bullying. While such a small percentage doesn’t seem like much, let’s take a look at some numbers. The Red Balloon Learner Centre Group estimates approximately 16,000 children out of 6 million of school children aged 11 – 15 are either long-term absent or being home schooled because of severe bullying. This is not the number of children overall who have been bullied, but those who have left school because the bullying was too severe!!

How do those numbers equate for the United States? Well, I was unable to find a similar study conducted in the United States, but taking the UK statistics and applying them to the greater population numbers in the United States, the ~ 0.27 percent equates to 955,000 plus students who are staying out of school due to bullying. 0.27 percent doesn’t seem so small anymore, does it?

When close to one million students have left school because of oppressive and unrelenting bullying, it is time to take action. The question? What do we do about the situation? How do we combat it?

The post When 0.27 Percent Isn’t That Small appeared first on Be the Cat.

A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself.

I’m very excited to have the opportunity to talk with a mother and daughter on the topic of bullying and to bring you a real world example of how one girl successfully dealt with a bully. Thank you Gabbie (almost 12) and Brooke (Gabbie’s mom) for your willingness to share your experience, not only with me, but with the world.

1. Gabbie, I understand you had an experience where you were bullied by one of the boys at school. Tell me how it happened.

• He threw a whiteboard eraser at my head and told me and all of my friends that i was stupid and no one liked me. He would come up to me in carpool and tell me that people were asking about me and I would go over and ask what they wanted he would laugh and they would laugh at me for coming up to them. he was always bothering me in band class, taking my things, erasing my work on the white board that the teacher asked me to write.

2. Brooke, how did you feel when Gabbie told you about the bullying?

• Gabbie was very vocal about what was happening with this boy at school. She shared with me in carpool one day that she was being bothered, explained the circumstances and I made a phone call to the school before exiting the parking lot, I wanted them to be aware of a possible issue so they could begin a monitoring process. At first I was a bit consumed with anger but it was quickly replaced with getting Gabbie through this situation in a positive way. I felt like I could inform the school and teach Gabbie strategies to deal with her situation without feeling fear or shame.

3. Gabbie, when you reported it to the school, how did they respond? Did they take care of the situation immediately or did you have to convince them that there was a problem?

• I had to convince them there was a problem, they wanted to keep an eye on him. They only watched him for three days and then called his parents to make them aware of it. They were very nice to me and listened to what I said.

4. Brooke, what is your opinion of how the school handled the situation?

• In the beginning when they met with Gabbie early the next morning, the school admin decided that “teasing” was in fact the label for what was going on. Gabbie did not feel as though “teasing” was the appropriate stereotype and listed why she felt that way, which included a brief quote from the Wake County School Boards Policies and Procedures book, listing examples of bullying. Wound up being a learning experience for the school, my husband and I and Gabbie. In the end, I felt as though we worked together as a team with not one person or role taking part more than another.

5. Gabbie, how do you feel about how your parents handled things when you told them about the bully?

• My mom and dad took care of it but let me talk to the school people. They called the school and listened to me, they helped me figure out what I wanted to say.

6. Brooke, how do you feel about how Gabbie dealt with the bully?

• Exceptionally well. I recognize what an awful situation this could of risen into and am so proud along with my husband and the school of how she handled it and even more important, herself.

7. Brooke, any words of advice for other parents out there on how to protect your kids, but at the same time allow them work it out?

• Education begins at home, not just the academics but social interactions as well. Teach your children to be kind and give them a voice, without holding their hand to respect themselves and others, to approach challenges with the attitude that there IS a solution, to always talk to their parents, guardians and other important figures in their schools to help guide them through questionable situations. Someone will always be there to listen and support them.

Thank you both so much for sharing your experience with me. And if anyone else would like to share an experience with me, please contact me at lkgardner-griffie [ at] griffieworld (dot ) com or leave a comment below. And for those interested in good sites on dealing with bullies, please check out the links on the Resources page.

The post Bullying: A Real World Experience appeared first on Be the Cat.

Isn’t that fantastic??? I always like to celebrate the successes. And of course, for all who have read the book, you KNOW who earned the bully category for the book. If you haven’t read it, don’t you want to find out?

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