Liana Gardner Archives ⋆ Be the Cat

Few But Mighty: Round One

Liana Gardner — Thu, 09 Apr 2026 18:05:40 +0000

One Down—Five to Go

Where do I even start? It has been a little over a week, but it has gone by in a flash getting everything marshalled and ready to dive into the process of killing off the bad cells again. Plus, the added complication with the leg infection. Which might be a good place to start.

The Right Calf

The oncologist put me on an antibiotic to reduce not only the fever, but the swelling, redness, and blistery activity under the surface covering my entire right calf. The fever went away immediately and hasn’t come back, which meant the chemo could proceed on the 7th, barring any return. The infection hasn’t responded quite as well. Though I saw a reduction in coloring and the swelling had subsided a little, and it covered only the lower half of the calf, it was still tender to the touch and hanging about. The odd thing was that, though the redness had significantly decreased, when we arrived at the oncologist’s office prior to chemo start, when she checked it, it was bright red again (still only half). I’m going to figure that since my allergies were on high alert, it was some sort of systemic allergy running through me attacking the weakened areas.

Part of the protocol I’m on is a high dose of steroid, and that is knocking the rest of the infection/inflammation out, so I doubt it will be an issue for long.

The Miracle

While the calf issue may be a bit of a negative (on the run now), it has been offset by something that can only be described as an absolute miracle. In 2021, when I had a similar tumor (the drama queen) near the same place, it reduced quickly once the pre-infusion meds were started (one month prior to infusions starting) and it was gone before I hit the chemo chair. That was unexpected and amazing … BUT THIS is in the miracle category. The day following my visit with the oncologist, where we were all extremely pleased about only ONE tumor to kill, the tumor was SMALLER!!! Every day, it shrunk a bit more. No medication (except an antibiotic for the calf), so my beleaguered immune system gathered the remaining troops and launched an attack. My fighters may be few, but they are MIGHTY.

The tumor didn’t disappear completely, that was a big ask for a week, but it did reduce by over 50%, so my spirits have been soaring. One question that I have been asked is whether we should wait and see what happened with the tumor instead of continuing on with the chemo. The answer is that even if it had reduced to the point of being undetectable, chemo would still need to proceed to ensure ALL rogue cells have been dealt with. In 2021, though the tumor had disappeared using an oral protocol, we still forged ahead with the infusion therapy for the same reason (plus there were more tumors that had to go.) This morning, after the completed first protocol, though still detectable, the tumor is reaching the point where I won’t be able to detect it for much longer. Which pleases me a lot!!!!

The Chemo

I have nothing but praise for the chemo nurse team. They are attentive, caring, work together, and constantly aware, regardless of what else is going on at the time.

It is usual for the first treatment to be broken into two days since they need to test each patient’s ability to withstand the treatment. What that requires is slowing the drip, then speeding it up at intervals and checking for reactions, which adds a lot of time to the process. Since it is a known factor that I DO react to one of the drugs in the protocol, that once again was tested and based on my history, it was decided that ALL future treatments will be given over two days instead of trying to force them into one. While I did quite well with the other drugs they had to test, the initial test may not show the full picture (the one I know I react to I did fine with the testing period the first time, but when they ran it at “normal” speed, I had the reaction.)

One additional factor—my immune system will require boosting since it is already too low, and the protocol I’m on will destroy what little I have left, so next week I go for my first immune system boost, which will then happen every 4 weeks.

The niceties

From experience, I tend to go pack mule on chemo days. I bring my laptop so I can work on something, usually not requiring a great deal of thought because I won’t have it as the brain fog descends, or I can pull up a show or movie for simple entertainment. In CA, they had iPads for recreational purposes, and here they have individual TVs, but I prefer my own. I bring a blanket (two purposes) because as the chemo proceeds, my internal thermostat will go on the blink and I’ll alternate cold and hot, AND it helps to keep the laptop from burning my lap.

In addition to the blanket and laptop, I bring a thermos of tea, a thermos of bone broth, and a bottle of water. The nurses were somewhat scandalized that I hadn’t brought anything to nibble the first day—to me the bone broth filled that niche—so yesterday, I added some cheese and crackers and a hard-boiled egg. I also brought a bolster for under my knees. The recliners are comfortable, except there is a gap where my knees hit and day 1, that was my biggest issue … trying to find the comfort spot. Problem solved. Add to the pack.

Not only do they have blankets for those patient’s who do not bring their own, but they have a row of shelves where they are kept heated, which is a nice touch. A woman in the tech department had to come to the chemo room for some reason a while back, and noticed the heated blankets. Since she crochets blankets and sells them, she periodically crotches a few for the chemo room and the nurses give them to the patients. I was gifted a beautiful blanket of purple and lavender on day 1. I am touched by the thoughtfulness. The chemo room is also stocked with beverages and snacks, should you need them.

Handcrafted by a tech staff member, it works perfectly across the foot of my bed.

How Am I Feeling?

In a word, tired. Which is completely normal. I was tired by the end of day 1, and yesterday, on arriving home, my brain was foggy, and I was exhausted. Again. Normal. Today, I’m doing well. So far not a lot of nausea (though they gave me HIGH doses of anti-nausea during treatment and I have two different kinds of adhoc meds for that at home) I actually was a little hungry last night, so ate some short ribs, I’d prepared in advance. In a little bit, I’ll take a nap, which will be par for the course moving forward. Other than that??? I’m good.

Shopping Spree

One thing that will be different with this protocol vs. the ones endured in the past is that I WILL lose my hair this time. Which isn’t a big deal for me because it will grow back. Probably more unruly than it is now. The biggest question I had was when I should shave my head. The thought of having to clean up clumps of hair as they fall out just doesn’t sit well with me. Besides, it might kill off my robovac and I cannot have that!!!

My hair will thin over the next three weeks, and then fall out completely after the next treatment … so, I’ll make the trip to a local barber the week prior, get the head shaved and the barber cleans up the mess.

I have always joked that I’d buy a rainbow wig if I lost my hair. And truthfully, I would, except it would be itchy on top of my bald head. Instead, I went on a little shopping spree prior to treatment. Retail therapy with a purpose. I bought several types of head wraps in various colors, all soft to the touch, so my head will be covered. I also bought the leak-proof thermoses in the necessary sizes, as well as some V-neck T-Shirts to make accessing the port easier for the nurses (and more comfortable for me since the line won’t be catching on the neckline.) and two pairs of slippers (with soles) to wear for chemo. The biggest key for me is comfortable, stretchy clothing, and even tennis shoes are too constricting.

Chemo Accomplished

This post has probably been much longer than what the norm will be, but I wanted to bring everyone up to speed on what is going on. The situation is MUCH better than it could be, for which I’m eternally thankful. I don’t think the oncologist has quite recovered from her shock over the test results being so much more positive than anticipated. May that carry through … I’m willing to accept any miracles coming my way.

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And Then There Was One

Liana Gardner — Wed, 01 Apr 2026 01:23:56 +0000

The past couple of weeks has been a whirlwind of tests in addition to the surgery to remove the old port and install a new one. The oncologist wanted to have a clear picture of the extent of the progression and to ensure we wouldn't run into problems due to any unknown underlying health issues. The good news is that other than one anticipated result, everything else was positive. Until yesterday I figured the appointment would simply be the oncologist confirming the good results and getting the chemo scheduled.

BUT the night before last I woke at 5AM shivering and shaking harder than I've ever experienced. It took over an hour for the shaking to stop. I checked my temp and though I had a fever, it wasn't overly high … except I rarely run a fever unless it's pneumonia. Which I didn't have. Since I'd had surgery, I checked the incisions, but nothing seemed amiss there. Tylenol helped bring the temp down for a short time, but yesterday it kept flaring. Fortunately, I only endured the shakes once, even though the temps were higher throughout the day. I contacted both the surgeon's office and the oncologist's nurse line wanting to get an antibiotic started. The oncologist's nurse asked me to do a COVID and Flu A/B test and to let her know the results, which came back negative. This morning, a new wrinkle appeared. When I swung my legs out from under the covers, my right calf glowed red. It truly looked sunburned, the skin stretched tight and swollen. When the oncologist took a look, she ordered an ultrasound to make sure there was no blood clot lurking. The efficiency of everyone involved amazed me. After having the ultrasound, I had no sooner climbed into the car when the oncologist called to advise the results were negative—no clot!! We picked up the antibiotic on the way home.

So what did all those tests show??? I've already mentioned the bone marrow results which were clear. The most important results were that of the PET Scan which showed ONE tumor, but that everything else is clear. The oncologist kept calling the tumor "ugly under the microscope" (the picture at the top is how I imagine it). It's a brute and aggressive and has beaten up on my immune system already (those were the one results that came back negatively—the values are basically in the basement, which is probably why the leg infection happened.) The oncologist was so pleased with the unexpected results. At our first meeting, she worried about how to get me started on the chemo protocol as quickly as possible, but this time she said with the results, she feels that if we have to wait an additional week to start chemo due to the infection, it won't be as critical.

One thing the oncologist said during the appointment made me want to leap up and dance. I'm ready to shout it from the rooftops. In ALL the results there was not one OUNCE of leukemia present, which is exceptionally unexpected to the point I'll call it a miracle. There is no cure for my type of leukemia and to have ZERO markers just doesn't happen. I've always said God is taking care of me, and this just proves it.

When does chemo start? It depends. If my leg is responding to the antibiotic and has cleared up enough by Friday, then my first treatment will be next Tuesday. If it hasn't healed enough, then I'll start the following week. Now it's time to get some rest.

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Out with the Old and In with the New

Liana Gardner — Fri, 27 Mar 2026 02:25:09 +0000

Yesterday, as per the results of the portogram, I underwent port replacement surgery. Out with the old, and in with the new. The day was a bit nostalgic because the port being removed had been with me so far during my cancer journey. It vastly improved my ability to handle the lengthy chemo sessions because the port allowed the drip to run faster without blowing up on me due to my small veins. The surgeon who installed it was like a kid with a brand-new toy; he was so excited about it. But it had been in much longer than expected, and it's time to move on.

In many ways, this is drawing a line between the past and the present. New port, new treatment protocol, new oncologist, and new circumstances. On the one hand, I have a lump—but I'm in a much better state than before. I've had several years to build up resources this time, so I feel stronger as I face the battle ahead than I have in the past. The test results so far have been good in a way. Yes, the lump is a little aggressive monster that needs to be slayed, but the leukemia side of things is in abeyance. So, the battle is localized vs. systemic and that gives me hope. This won't be the old battle … not that it will be easy … but a new battle using a protocol designed to wheedle into the cancer cells and choke them to death. I can get behind that visualization.

The surgery went well. The old port came out with no problem. I guess the new one took a little longer to install, but it wouldn't be me if it were easy. The staff were fantastic. I have truly enjoyed all the staff I've worked with so far. They are knowledgeable, attentive, caring, concerned … everything you want in your care team. I have two gashes on my chest, so now my scarring will be even, and one on my neck. The post-operative pain has been minimal and for the most part it only hurts when I first lie down. Otherwise, I feel like I have a bit of a stiff neck and occasionally feel some tightness around the chest wounds, which are glued together instead of stitched. Whatever works.

The picture for this post is depicting the hope a new day brings. Shedding new light on the path ahead. That's it for now. Tomorrow, I have the final tests done to see whether I have additional lumps lurking that need to be slayed.

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Omens and Outcomes

Liana Gardner — Wed, 18 Mar 2026 00:40:38 +0000

Yesterday was a test day: portogram and bone marrow biopsy. I had to be up at the crack of dawn because check-in time was 7 AM, except dawn didn’t crack. We had pitch-dark skies and thunder showers for the trip to the hospital. Just to liven things up and add an ominous note, as we approached the final turn before the hospital, a transformer blew. The first flash blinded, followed by another boom and sparks like fireworks, only at ground level. At that point, I wondered whether it was an omen for how the tests would go.

At the beginning of my cancer journey, after my first infusion treatment round and before my second, I happily had a port installed. My veins are small and squirrelly, and most of the time, the back of my hand has to be used to put in an IV. So I’ve had the same port since 2013 and it has worked like a champ. The nurses were concerned about accessing the port because it hadn’t been flushed in the past few years due to remission and being between oncologists. They didn’t think they’d be able to pull blood, but I had a feeling it would despite the length of time it had been in and lack of use.

Once again, my port came up trumps. No problem at all in either accessing it or drawing blood. It is still in remarkably good shape. Except for one thing. When they did the X-ray, they injected it with contrast to watch how the flow was to ensure no kinks. There weren’t any kinks, but there was a film of tissue surrounding the bottom like a wrapper on a straw. Kind of like a thin clot over the opening, which didn’t stop the liquid from going out, but it came out, up the sheath that is forming, and then out into my system.

As explained to me, there are two potential ways to address the issue. Option 1 is to drip a clot-dissolving substance through the port for 5 hours to dissolve the sheath. Option 2 is surgery to replace the port. They asked me which I preferred. My response: whichever my oncologist feels is best. This morning, I spoke with my oncology nurse and the route we’re going to take is port replacement.

My platelets have struggled to stay near the normal range throughout my treatment regimes. Despite my prior CBC showing platelets actually IN the normal range (a rarity), they have fallen since having the tumor and the risk of bleeding is too great for attempting to dissolve the sheath. This is why I wanted the oncologist to weigh in on which direction. They are working on the scheduling, but it means I don’t have to travel for over an hour each way to have a 5-hour procedure—we’ll call that a win.

I’ve saved the best news for last. No mutating cells in the results from the bone marrow biopsy. I didn’t expect the results until tomorrow or Thursday, so was pleasantly surprised to find they had already been posted. All indicators are that the leukemia is still controlled and the tumor is localized rather than systemic. Woooo hoooo!!!!

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Blessed, Not Brave

Liana Gardner — Sun, 08 Mar 2026 23:52:31 +0000

As I sit down to write this post, the thing going through my mind the most is how blessed I am. That may sound strange in the face of another major life hurdle, but it’s true.

My Blessing Short List

I have a great support network of family and friends that spans the globe, literally.
My besties are a mile away. (huge, HUGE blessing)
Based on one meeting, I’m already comfortable with the new oncologist. In her words, “we don’t have time to fart around with this”, so I have a physician in my corner dedicated to killing off the cancer as quickly as we can.
I was born stubborn. Yes, it can be a negative trait, but when I need to remain determined beyond reason, it is a blessing and comes in handy.

Throughout this journey, I've heard "you're so brave" several times. It always takes me by surprise because I don't feel brave. For me, bravery entails experiencing fear, but facing the circumstances anyway. And while I won't say there isn't a smidgen of fear somewhere deep inside me, I can say that if it is there, it's buried so deep I simply don't feel it. So I don't feel brave or afraid—I'm blessed.

The Why of it

My entire life I've been endlessly fascinated by the "why" of things. So it shouldn't come as any surprise that when the thought about bravery hit me, I wanted to know why … why don't I feel fear even though facing an aggressive cancer? The answer came in a conversation with a friend who apologized for being worried about me.

I have always maintained that I'm lousy at worrying. I keep forgetting to do so, which isn't a bad thing as far as I'm concerned. But I also know how worry affects others, and when I'm the cause of the worry, then I try to help them work through it. I told my friend: In this, I'm the one who doesn't worry. It's so much easier for me, and so hard for everyone else. It has to do with helplessness.

Me? I get to actively attack the cancer and try to burn it, suffocate it, beat it to a pulp, and expel it from my body. No one escapes battle unscathed, but I get to take action. For everyone else, there really isn't anything to do except offer prayers and good vibes. Which is so much harder. I have been on the opposite side of the coin too many times in my life, and I understand the sheer frustration of not being able to help someone else fight their battle.

Fiercely independent for my entire life: if there is something I can do for myself, then I'm going to do it. When that changes, then I might have a few moments where my determination slips, but until then, I'm a warrior.

The Biggest Blessing

Then we come to the biggest reason I don't get too worked up over everything. I have faith. I am in God's hands and have an irrational, but also unshakeable belief that while I may never know the purpose He has in mind, He does have one. And that is enough for me. I don't believe that God would allow me to suffer without a purpose.

In many ways, much like writing, going through chemo is a solo activity. It takes a village to get a book ready for publication, and the cancer village carrying me is full of supporters: doctors, nurses, friends, and family. But I'm the one who has to put the words on the page, and I'm the one who has to go through the chemical cocktail that is designed to kill the rogue cells running around inside me.

Part of the reason I am so certain there is some sort of purpose wrapped up in this is that I still have too much to get done. I only have one book written of a 5-book series. I have one more book to write for a separate series, and several other pending projects. I simply don't have time to mess around with this for too long. And this series is something that needs to be written as a part of my purpose on this revolving marble in the sky.

The Post Image

I had the image for this post generated, and I'm delighted with how it turned out. It shows my determination, ragged cape and all, to chase down those mutant cells. And it makes me laugh. Maybe I should have it made into a poster to hang on the wall for the not-so-great days.

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Jumping Through Hoops: aka Cancer Rears Its Head

Liana Gardner — Fri, 06 Mar 2026 06:22:15 +0000

It's been a little over two years since I moved to Tennessee, and what a time I've had. New home, new views, new adventures, critters wandering through my yard and on the streets. And now, a new chapter in the ongoing saga of living with leukemia and lymphoma.

In November, I discovered a lump. At first, it was so small I wasn't sure whether it was actually a lump or scar tissue—a gift from my bout with pyoderma gangrenosum that resulted from my second chemo cycle. But it grew, and I became more certain of what I was dealing with: another palpable lymphoma tumor.

As per my history, nothing is ever easy.

Getting from "I have a lump" to "here's the treatment plan" has been an exercise in jumping through hoops. My original GP left the practice, and my referral to an oncologist fell through the cracks. The mammogram and ultrasound required records from California—records that arrived incomplete, requiring more phone calls. A medication reaction turned into pneumonia just after Christmas that lasted over a month. With no GP to order a biopsy, I had to be routed through a surgeon first. Each hoop led to another hoop, which led to another.

But I am nothing if not persistent. I felt like a ringmaster, keeping all the acts running.

The biopsy confirmed what I suspected: small non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, but with some abnormalities suggesting it may be transforming into something more aggressive. Because of course it is. I have never done anything the "usual" way—why would my cancer be any different? This is my second tumor in the breast, a location that has very little lymphatic tissue to begin with. Rare upon rare. I do love to defy expectations.

And so it begins … again. It feels a bit like leveling up in a video game—time to face the beast again. I can't say I'm looking forward to another round of chemo, but I am looking forward to kicking it to the curb once more.

In the meantime, I have plenty to keep me focused on better things. I've just finished another book that goes off to my agent next week, and I have the rest of the series to write. Interestingly, some of the themes running through the work are courage, hope, and faith. Life has a way of giving us material, doesn't it?

The battle commences. And it's a battle I plan to win.

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Read Across America and 7th Grade Revolution

Liana Gardner — Fri, 07 Mar 2025 02:57:23 +0000

Yesterday, I had the privilege and the honor of celebrating Read Across America week with the 6th Graders of my alma mater, Wagner Elementary School. Read Across America is a week-long celebration of reading, beginning on Dr. Suess's birthday. Its purpose is motivating children to read more, celebrating reading and literacy, building community, and educating people about the benefits of reading. With me in Eastern Tennessee and Wagner Elementary in Southern California, we truly embraced the concept of Read Across America.

I read a chapter from 7th Grade Revolution, then we had a Q&A session, and I also had the chance to share an excerpt from my current work in progress. I love answering questions and talking about the writing process, so the Q&A portion was so much fun. The kids asked insightful questions, and it turned into several joint teachable moments between the teacher and me.

An example was the simple question: "Which of your characters is your favorite?" Spoiler Alert: All of them. While explaining that I couldn't choose one favorite, I mentioned Katie McCabe. Katie is the character who has been living in my head the longest, so in any given scenario I know exactly how she'll react, what she'll say, and how she'll deal with the situation. The teacher jumped in and emphasized that I had mentioned how the character reacts as it is something she had pointed out to the class in previous lessons. They don't just talk and take action, they have reactions to the situation.

Leaders of the 7th Grade Revolution

I could go on and on about the questions and answers, but suffice it to say that my answers supported and validated what the teacher had been presenting to the students throughout the school year. Prior to the event, I had provided some background information on 7th Grade Revolution and made sure to point out the character pictures with brief bio I have on my website and the teacher projected them on a board.

While I read, the kids, on hearing a name would check the board so they had an image to help them better imagine the story as it continued. The images had an even greater impact during the Q&A portion. We discussed the tools used to create them, and as they had used the same tools they saw different ways to apply the tools.

A huge thank you to the 6th Graders of Wagner Elementary for such a great experience. I believe we can say "Mission Accomplished" for Read Across America week for 2025.

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The New Years’ Dance

Liana Gardner — Tue, 02 Jan 2024 04:54:41 +0000

Welcome to 2024!!! Life is like a dance, we take a few steps forward and a few back, and sometime run in circles. I'm more than ready to put on my dancing shoes. It's time to say farewell to 2023 and look forward to 2024. Normally, I don't spend a lot of time looking back and focus more on the future, but since 2023 was a big year I wanted to spend a little time on what was accomplished.

Contents

The Look Back
The Way Forward
Picture Gallery

The Look Back

At the beginning of 2022 I had confirmed my decision to retire from the day job. Something that was essential to do for my overall well-being and I wanted to spend more time working on my passion projects. My timeline changed a few times and I carried over that goal into 2023. I had 3 major goals for 2023:

Retire from the day job.
Move (I wasn't even sure where exactly at that point)
Launch my debut MG series (Katie McCabe) with Vesuvian Books

Retirement:
Retirement is not for the faint of heart. Some people have a big adjustment curve they go through when they stop working. I had planned on an adjustment period because I knew there would be a lot of things administratively that would have to be handled before I could put into action the next step. The first week of January marked my retirement, but it took several months to get everything taken care, despite having planned in advance. I miss the people I worked with, but, even though I enjoyed my job, I haven't missed it one whit.

The Move:
Mentally, moving was my biggest challenge for the year. Just trying to wrap my head around everything that needed to get done and the how took several months. Overwhelm mode activated.. I had been searching for the right place on and off over the past few years and had even put an offer in on a house. But when friends checked it out, what looked good on paper turned to dust and the offer was rescinded. Since the housing market was in such bad shape with unrealistic pricing and rates that were too high, I made the decision to rent for the time being and I couldn't be happier.

I settled on the where, but then had to figure out how to get me and my stuff there trying to keep isolated as much as possible for health reasons. Then a brain wave hit … do a cross country train trip. It took a little longer to arrive, but I am still happy I made that decision. It is something I've always wanted to try. (A picture gallery is below.) I am now in a cozy apartment with my best friends close by and they have been SUCH A HUGE HELP, I can never thank them enough.

The Series Launch:
In the midst of going through everything, getting things packed, and making all the arrangements for the move, I released the first book in the Katie McCabe Series, Rain Falling on Embers. It has already picked up a few awards and positive reviews. I spent the beginning of the year with my editor polishing up the second book in the series, South of Happy and I'm looking forward to getting it out there later this year. All of 2023 was geared toward goals to support my writing habit.

The Way Forward

I do love a fresh, shiny new year. 365 days ahead to make things happen. Sometimes I achieve what I set out to do. Sometimes life throws a curve that makes me bob and weave, or completely derails the year to another destination. But I start each year with hope and plans and am excited to find out where I'll wind up.

The Plans:

Write, write, and write some more.

Go through self-edits on Going Up in Flames (Katie McCabe, Book 3)
Work through the edits my editor will give me for the same (as hard as I try to send it to him as perfect as possible, he ALWAYS has a ton of things for me to think about and adjust.)
Finish writing Book 1 in the Homeless Myths Series, The Secret of the Redy Key. I cannot wait to share this series with everyone. It has a lot of special sauce going on and I think the rest of the world will agree.

Get healthier. I am currently in remission (YAY!!!), but my immune system is still shot, so want to work on several avenues to help boost the immune system and give myself more resources to go into battle with. I'd love for this remission to last several years. To that end, I am focused on:
- Being more active. I have been pretty much housebound for a number of years, especially during the pandemic. So my plan is to get out more, take walks on some of the fantastic trails around me, and work up to using my vibration plate a total of 30 minutes a day (which usually results in my dancing on it if listening to music).
- Improving nutrition
- Searching out new treatments for dealing with cancer. I'm excited about the breakthroughs that are popping up with more frequency and have hope that one day, there will be a cure for mine.
Find my next home, rates and real estate market willing, as the current apartment is meant to be temporary.

The Picture Gallery

I figured since I had so many pictures I wanted to share, that it would be best simply to create a gallery and provide a little commentary to provide a flavor for the move.

1. The day the stuff I was moving left. All my planning and preparation resulted in what was going and what wasn't. Everything that was making the move with me had been staged into two rooms, the first thing to be loaded were those items that were going straight into storage short-term, and the second room contained those things I needed in the apartment. The next day, everything that didn't go into the pods was cleared out and donated.
2-4. Fullerton Amtrak station on the day of my departure. Of course, when the freight train passed by with OOCL containers on it, I had to include them.
5. Arizona Mesa
6. Albuquerque, NM train station - one with a little style
7. Lamy, NM station - I couldn't resist the decorations.
8. Near Fort Osage Township, MO
9. Crossing the Mississippi river from Iowa into Illinois - we had a well-wisher waving as we hurtled by.
10. Amtrack, Chicago - where I felt like I might have dropped into a holiday gone wrong type of movie, but all was well in the end.
11. Entering West Virginia and nearly to my destination.
12. White Sulphur Springs Station - Cutest station on my route and where I got off.
13. My friends met me at the station and we loaded up the Grand Cherokee—AFTER they found me, because everyone else got off the train at the front, but they had me depart the train at the back. (I had stored luggage that had to be taken off the train.) We had quite the load.
14. But not ALL of the stuff was mine. While waiting to pick me up, they wandered into one of the boutique stores in town and just had to get the Christmas tree with bears climbing on it. I would have done the same.
15. The first thing I saw when I walked into my new apartment. My friends had been busy readying the apartment while I was traveling across the country.
16. My festive shower curtain. There is a light over the shower/tub so the fireplace glows when the light is on.
17-18. My view through my windows. My place in CA looked out on a parking lot and all I could see from my bedroom window was the apartments behind me. I am reveling in having trees and grass outside and enjoy watching the hills.
19. Still from my windows, but at night so you can see the lights from the space needle and the skybridge.
20. After my initial visit with my new doctor, we went for a ride, and had just been discussion how unlikely it would be to see any bears this time of year, when a bear family came through the woods, crossed in front of our car, and continued up the hill. I'm sure they came out just to welcome me.
21. It's not a holiday unless I decorate, so my fridge quickly took on some holiday cheer.
22. My stuff arrived from CA and the place is starting to take on a homey feel.
23. Essentials for any writer.
24. My living room rug with an Amish made cherry wood cedar chest.
25. My Christmas Day rainbow.
26. The space needle decorated as a Christmas tree (and I caught the flashing star on top)
27. Just because I love the shadows on my wall at night.
28-33. The fireworks display at the space needle. I have the perfect apartment for viewing.

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NaNoWriMo and Me

Liana Gardner — Fri, 01 Dec 2023 01:38:58 +0000

As November draws to a close, so does the quest to win NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). I put win in italics because the prize is primarily self-satisfaction or bragging rights. Many writers participate the month was designed to get people to put words on the page. Any words toward the goal of writing a novel. The basic premise is to take a blank sheet of paper (or digital variation thereof) and have a shiny bright new idea, and starting November 1st write 50,000 words (averaging 1,667 words a day) by the end of November 30th—a daunting, but theoretically achievable task.

HUGE SHOUT OUT TO ALL PARTICIPANTS THIS YEAR! I SALUTE YOU!!!

In the past, I have enjoyed cheering on anyone participating in the event. I missed checking up on how people were doing against their goal this year and hearing the excitement as everyone discussed their ideas with such enthusiasm. On November 1st, surrounded by boxes everywhere, I gave a brief thought to those who were dashing off their first words followed by a pensive pang because I'd miss all the excitement. I knew I wouldn't participate this year because the cross-country move I made mid-November put paid to any hopes of completing the task. I'm not an active participant in NaNoWriMo in any year … the self-inflicted pressure of writing a certain number of words or falling short of a goal halts my writing process … but I do enjoy cheering everyone else on.

As a writer, I don't have a daily (or even weekly) word count goal—either when drafting or editing. It may drive my agent crazy, but my process simply doesn't function that way and setting those concrete goals can put the creative brakes on more than it will ever spur me to achieve the goal. So how do I finish anything? It's all about knowing who you are as a writer and being true to your process.

Depending on the book, my process can either be fast or slow or somewhere in between. It depends on the story, the complexity of the plot, and primarily the characters and how well they communicate the story to me. The book I'm editing for what feels like the 3,000th time, South of Happy (Katie McCabe, Book 2), I wrote in 3 weeks, but it took me nine or ten months to complete the first draft edits. While the words simply flowed out of me and I wrote on average 5,000 words a night and between 10k-15k on the weekend days, the resulting manuscript had the makings of a story, but technically it was a big lump of clay that I'd thrown at the wall. A lot of clean up work had to be done to shape it into the story it is today.

By contrast my current WIP (Work in Progress), The Secret of the Red Key (Homeless Myths, Book 1), is taking longer for me to write than any other book I've written. Why? In an odd way, it is taking longer because I have learned more about the craft of writing and am far more deliberate about what I'm doing as I put words on the page. But that also means there will be a lot less mess to clean up when I'm done.

When writing South of Happy, I only knew it was a sequel to the first book, Rain Falling on Embers, and since I had lived with the characters in my head for a while, I merely had to plug in my headphones and turn on my music and the words simply gushed. At that point, I had no idea the story would develop into a five book series.

With The Secret of the Red Key, I have known from almost the outset that it will be a five book series. I don't know the characters quite as well yet, and the plot of this one is far more complex than with the Katie McCabe series. I absolutely love what is going on the page, the characters who keep popping up while I'm in progress, and the direction for the series, but since I'm getting things in a piecemeal fashion instead of linear, it is going to take longer for me to write. But it will be worth the wait.

Congratulations to all who participated in NaNoWriMo 2023 and best wishes as you complete your novel and polish it 'til it shines.

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The Next Chapter

Liana Gardner — Wed, 15 Nov 2023 22:47:16 +0000

Writers tend to view things in scenes and chapters. While I enjoy getting into a flow state and immersing myself in a scene, nothing quite brings the same excitement as starting a new chapter. With a new chapter, you turn the page and choose a new direction. I'm always excited to see where the writing is going to take me. As in fiction, so it is in life.

Over the past few months, I've been immersed in prepping for my next big turn of the page and new chapter of my life—moving cross country from Southern California to Eastern Tennessee. While this is a big move, I'm looking forward to it as my next big adventure.

This has been a year of BIG change for me. Back in January, I turned a page and resigned from my job I worked for 30 years. I felt it was time to move forward into the next phase of my life where I can focus more on writing the books I love. Though I do miss the people I worked with, I don't miss the actual work.

I think back with pride on all that I accomplished in my job, but I look forward to all I need to accomplish with my writing. My to-write pile is out of control. And I can honestly say that I haven't even had one minute to spare to miss work.

The past few months have been chock-full of planning, prepping, organizing, disposing, donating, cleaning, and packing. For awhile I felt as if the boxes would revolt and I'd end up buried beneath them with arm and leg twitching. Fortunately, that didn't happen :), and now all that remains is to get ME on the way since all my stuff has already left.

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I have traveled extensively throughout my working career, but the thought of navigating an airport, the long flight in cramped quarters, and the inability to keep a bubble around me (for health reasons) bothered me. Then I thought of trains. While the train will take 3 days instead of a 7-hour flight (including layovers), I have booked a bedroom, so will have room to stretch out, relax, and ENJOY the journey. This gives me a nice transition between leaving and arriving, I've never traveled cross country on a train … and I've always wanted to.

Though I will miss family and friends, my reality has been the four walls of my apartment for the past several years with most the in-person contact being trips to the doctor and back. So in many respects, keeping in touch with friends and family will not change much at all. But being in the Smoky Mountains will give me a chance to take walks in more natural surroundings, I'll have different views from my windows, and wonderful new experiences.

So (for now at least) goodbye Southern California and hello Eastern Tennessee—it's time to start something new … and trust the magic of new beginnings.

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10 Years of Living with Leukemia

Liana Gardner — Sun, 02 Jul 2023 07:03:06 +0000

This month marks a big milestone … the 10th Anniversary of my leukemia & lymphoma diagnosis. I have decided that this is something to celebrate. After all, I am still here, still fighting, and still no closer to giving up on life—I have far too many things to still accomplish. So I decided I should see what anniversary year it is, and found that it is Tin. Perfect.

What better way to celebrate 10-years than with the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz? After all, getting a cancer diagnosis is a lot like being swept up by a tornado and finding yourself in a strange land after dropping out of the sky. Then, before you can get your bearings and come up with a plan, you're surrounded by all sorts of people offering advice. If only you X or maybe if you Y … all well-meaning and helpful, but notice, NONE of the munchkins traveled the road with Dorothy. They couldn't. And this is not a road I'd wish on anyone else.

Don't worry, I'm not leaving out the Wicked Witch—SHE'S the cancer in this story. So off you go on your journey to find the wizard, aka the magic combination of things to keep you as healthy as possible while living with the disease. You have no idea what's ahead, but have been told of treacherous country and winding, unsafe roads.

My Road:

I thought I'd take a few moments to recap my journey over the last 10 years.

July 2013 during a routine exam, diagnosed with leukemia, which had been caught at the very beginning stages and was told it would be a slow progression disease and I may not need chemo for 10-15 years.
October 2013 further diagnosis based on additional test of lymphoma hiding in the blood stream. Additionally, diagnosed with two sets of abnormalities that make my particular cancers very aggressive. Let's just call them the flying monkeys that swoop in and attack periodically.
November 2013 saw the start of my first set of chemo infusions, which lasted for a 6-month period.
May 2014—Full Remission
April 2016—Remission Ended Begin watchful waiting something I do not do well.
October 2016—My blood values were out of whack, but the oncologist felt we should still watch and wait. So my general state of well-being kept deteriorating, fatigue levels increased, etc.
December 2016—After some difficulty fighting off a skin infection, and identification of some lymphoma nodules, the oncologist determined the cancer was becoming too aggressive, so it was time for treatment again … only this time it was a daily oral pill. WoooHoooo!!!

For everything in life, there seems to be some kind of trade off, and with taking a daily pill, the suppression of the immune system meant that while not having to go through chemo infusions, I did need to have infusions to boost my immune system regularly (about half the year each year)
January 2019—Hospitalized with Scarlet Fever, I had to come off the pill (due to the suppression of the immune system any time there is infection, you have to stop taking it). Since I had been on it for two years and was experiencing several side effects, we decided to keep me off it for awhile.
Remission only lasted 5 months and by October 2019, I was back in the chemo chair for infusions using a different protocol than the first time round.
March 2020—I had finished the chemo, but wound up in the hospital with what the doctors decided was chemo related infections. Let's just say they were awful enough I don't ever want to have to fight those off again.
August 2021—Visible lumps identified and new chemo course ordered … both oral and infusion. While one of the lumps went away as soon as I started the new protocol, the other didn't, so I finished the year off with radiation on top of chemo.
December 2021—Merry Christmas to me. I spent it in the hospital with double pneumonia caused by the chemo protocol.
2022 to present—I've been keeping to myself, taking the oral targeted therapy and holding my own. Though I do have some cysts that are hanging around, they aren't growing and remain stable. So all is good.

Now back to why I'm celebrating this anniversary with the Tin Man. One of the things I've always loved about Baum's work is that those who helped Dorothy find her way had one thing they felt they lacked and wanted to see the wizard so they could gain it once again. The Lion wanted to be brave, the Scarecrow wanted brains, and the Tin Man wanted a heart. But as they journey forward, we see that the Lion IS brave, the Scarecrow IS smart, and the Tin Man had an abundance of love in the heart that in his eyes wasn't there.

For me, the Tin Man represents passion … finding the heart of your desires and keeping it alive. Even the times when he'd get rusted up (from crying over something) resonates with me. I have my passion in my writing work and focusing on that helps me get through my days. Yeah, some days are creaky, where I don't feel well, it hurts to move, and I have no spoons left. But when I write, it takes me away from all of that and keeps me plugging away toward a future when I hope someone will come up with an answer for the beast I live with day in and day out.

So while it may seem a bit odd to celebrate having cancer for 10 years, I'm celebrating the defeat of the Wicked Witch. One day, may she melt FOREVER.

Here's to the next 10 years because I plan to be here to celebrate it when it arrives.

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Strong Emotions and Situations in Stories and in Life

Liana Gardner — Thu, 15 Jun 2023 15:05:33 +0000

Have you ever read a book that made you feel like you were living the story along with the characters? A book that made you think about your own life and how you would handle the challenges they faced?

Novels are powerful. They help us understand ourselves and others better. Reading helps us cope with difficult emotions and situations, such as grief, bullying, and survival, which are common themes in middle grade and young adult books. They are also common experiences in many people's lives. If you haven’t faced some of these issues yourself, you probably know someone who has.

So how can reading novels or writing stories help us deal with these issues? And how can we use these issues to create our own stories? Here are some tips and ideas:

How Stories Help Us Deal with Strong Emotions and Situations

We feel less alone. When we read about characters who are going through the same things as we are, we relate to them and feel like we have a friend who understands us. We learn from their experiences and see how they cope with their problems.
Reading helps us process our emotions. When characters are feeling sad, angry, scared, or happy, we can empathize with them and feel those emotions too. This can help us release our own feelings and process them in a healthy way. We can also share the books we like to communicate our feelings to others.
We find hope and inspiration. When characters overcome their difficulties and achieve their goals, we feel hopeful and motivated. We admire their courage, resilience, and creativity, and try to emulate them in our own lives. And sometimes we find ideas and solutions for our own problems.

How to Use Strong Emotions and Situations to Create Our Own Stories

We use our own experiences as inspiration. If we have faced an issue in our own lives, we can use those memories as a starting point. We write about how we felt, what we did, and what we learned from those situations. We use our experiences as a springboard for the imagination by changing some details or adding fictional elements.
We use our imagination to create new scenarios. If we have not faced a scenario the character in our story is facing in our own lives, we can still write about them by using our imagination. We can think of what-if questions, such as "What if I lost my best friend?" or "What if I was stranded on an island?" or "What if I was bullied at school?" We can then imagine how we would react and what would happen next.
Research—research—research. Whether we use our own experiences or our imagination, research is essential to make our stories more authentic and accurate. Read books and articles about whatever situation has arisen in your story. Talk to people who have gone through those issues or are experts on them. Then use what you’ve learned to drop in a detail here or there which evokes emotions in those who read the story.

Writing novels or stories is challenging but rewarding. Rain Falling on Embers deals with the themes of grief, bullying, survival, and love, to name a few. A challenge to write, but I am so glad I did. It turned out to be a gripping and inspiring story that shows how Katie McCabe overcomes her challenges and grows as a person, finding hope and happiness in her new surroundings.

So next time you read a book, think about how it makes you feel and what you learn from it. And next time you write a story, think about how you can use your experiences, imagination, and research to make it engaging and meaningful.

Happy reading and writing!

This post is part of the Young Writers Series: for more tips, click here.

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