Why is a strong POV important? Why can’t we give the reader the thoughts and feelings of the non-POV character? Doesn’t the reader gain more by having everyone’s thoughts and feelings? The simple answer is NO. Here’s what can happen by head hopping.

• Potential for confusion — If the POV is sliding from one character to the next, there is always the possibility the reader will become confused, have to stop reading, track back and figure out who just spoke or had a thought. I cannot count the number of times I’ve been cruising along with a book, getting hooked by the story only to trip on a POV change I didn’t make with the book. Wait … What??? I have to stop and go back, and the last thing we want the reader to do is to stop reading because they have become confused.

• Lessens the connection the reader has to the POV character. I know all the objections … the reader only becomes confused if the POV shift hasn’t been handled well, but if you do it well, you can get away with it. Ummm, I’m not trying to get away with anything (which implies we’re somehow trying to cheat or game our reader), but rather make sure I’m presenting my story in the best way I can to the reader. I want the reader to connect to my POV character. I want them to care what happens because that is going to keep them turning the pages. If I take time away from my POV character to give to a secondary character, no matter how well I’m doing it, I am pulling the reader briefly out of the story and making them get settled into another viewpoint.

• One of the side effects that happens with head hopping is dilution of tension. If you have a scene and have set up the reader expectation that you are in and out of all of the characters thoughts, and need to build some mystery surrounding something one of the characters knows the others do not, how do you do it? If you have a strong POV, there is no problem because in a strong POV you only have the thoughts and feelings of a single character. And if you dilute your tension too much, the reader has no reason to keep on reading.

So how do you ensure you’re not head hopping? Comb through your manuscript looking for tell-tale signs.

• Target all sense words. If someone other than your POV character is seeing, feeling, hearing, touching, noticing, watching, etc. you have changed POV.

• Watch for what they didn’t do. One common error I see all the time is, “I/He/She didn’t notice …” If your POV character didn’t notice something then you cannot put it in the book because they have not experienced it. That particular error is a slide into the omniscient viewpoint because it isn’t a specific character POV, but an unseen/unknown narrator telling the reader what the POV character didn’t notice.

• Also the POV character cannot notice someone else not noticing something. Or not seeing, hearing, feeling, etc. Check all thoughts and determine WHO is thinking them … if it isn’t the POV character, then bring it out another way.

Does all this mean that you can never have multiple viewpoints in a book? Of course not. But make your selections wisely and with purpose and make sure you’re only changing POV at structured scene/chapter breaks.

The post Why Not Head Hop? appeared first on Be the Cat.

The catch? Pitch your book with the same restrictions we have on twitter – 140 characters. Whoa!! There are times I can barely say hello in 140 characters… pitch a whole book?? I thought about sitting this one out, but then decided to jump in the deep end for two reasons.

1. A friend dared me (yes, we have Monica Enderle Pierce to thank for my participation in this contest) because I can’t back down from a challenge.
2. And the ability to have a short snippet I can pull out and use when someone asks me the question I never cease to stumble over… “What is the book about?” Once I’m in a conversation about my writing, I’m able to discuss fluently, but I always trip over my tongue when attempting to give someone a short summation.

So I signed up and started off on my quest of perfecting a pitch in 140 characters. I had a bit of a slow start but ultimately came up with something I’m almost happy with – I’d like to get a descriptive adjective in there, but may need a shoe horn to do it. Oh, and I thought about tweet-shrinking my pitch, but decided to go for the gusto and complete the pitch without shrinking. Sooooo, here it is:

Title: The Journal of Angela Ashby
Genre: Middle Grade contemporary with magical elements
44,000 words

When her magical journal falls into a bully’s hands, a girl must sacrifice her deepest desire to protect her unborn brother’s happiness

In a nutshell and 135 characters… but, I’ll probably continue to tweak – leave a comment & help me make it sparkle.

With the feedback from below, I’ve been toying with some new pitches, so here is #2

Conjuring a gnome was fun, but when her magical journal falls into a bully’s hands, Angela must recover it before her last wish causes chaos

With her magical journal in a bully’s hands, a girl must sacrifice her desire 2 reunite her parents 2 protect her unborn brother’s happiness

I’ve incorporated Rebecca’s suggestion below for the third version. And hop on over to Shelley’s blog and see all of the other contestants. It’s going to be fun seeing how everyone sums up their books.

The post The Challenge: 140 Characters – One Pitch appeared first on Be the Cat.