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	<title>reality check Archives &#8902; Be the Cat</title>
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	<description>random musings of stories and life</description>
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	<title>reality check Archives &#8902; Be the Cat</title>
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		<title>Cecil FTW</title>
		<link>https://bethecatblog.com/2011/08/cecil-ftw/</link>
					<comments>https://bethecatblog.com/2011/08/cecil-ftw/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Liana Gardner]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 06 Aug 2011 12:00:40 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Bullying]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Armijo High School]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bullies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bully]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bullying]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cecil]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[High Functioning Autism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intolerance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[life experience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[LK Griffie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reality check]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://bethecatblog.com/?p=1919</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>One of my goals is to share real world experiences along with thoughts and articles about the issues which crop up in my writing. And to do that, my plan was to contact people and ask them to share some of their experiences...</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://bethecatblog.com/2011/08/cecil-ftw/">Cecil FTW</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bethecatblog.com">Be the Cat</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: justify;"><a href="https://bethecatblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/CJ.jpg"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" src="https://bethecatblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/CJ-225x300.jpg" alt="" title="CJ" width="225" height="300" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-1945" srcset="https://bethecatblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/CJ-225x300.jpg 225w, https://bethecatblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/CJ.jpg 540w" sizes="(max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px" /></a>One of my goals is to share real world experiences along with thoughts and articles about the issues which crop up in my writing. And to do that, my plan was to contact people and ask them to share some of their experiences, but before I had a chance to execute that plan, I got into a Twitter conversation with Brooke about one of the articles I had posted and the next thing I knew posted an interview with her and her daughter Gabbie about Gabbie&#8217;s experiences being bullied (<a href="https://bethecatblog.com/2011/06/bullying-a-real-world-experience/">Bullying: A Real World Experience</a>. After posting that, I received a Facebook message from CJ, who I have known for years &#8212; although most of the time we&#8217;ve been in different cities/states. His mom and I have been friends since before he was born. CJ, or now more appropriately Cecil (c&#8217;mon dude, cut me some slack&#8230; I&#8217;ve ALWAYS called you CJ) hasn&#8217;t had the easiest life, but his outlook on life has always been good (okay mom, we&#8217;ll except some of the teenage rants). He has HFA &#8212; which is High Functioning Autism, and I know that his mother fought for him to receive the education he deserved. When he read about Gabbie, he wanted to share an experience about a time when he was bullied in school. The below is completely in his words.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;"><strong>My story</strong><br />
<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Armijo High School Fairfield, CA:</strong></span></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">My bullying experience began when I was put in a class called metal workshop. I was about 14 or 15 years old, our country was at war with Iraq, and a lot of Mexican students leaving the campus, <em>and my P.E. class</em> while taking to the downtown courtyard to protest the Illegal Immigrant Crackdowns by then-US president George Bush.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">When I was in Metal Workshop, there were some students who were nice to me, <em>including the only girl in the class who supervised my arc welding activities</em> while there were some students who were the worst people you could ever imagine, including one student: Big Steve. <em>My mom, stepdad, and I called him that because he was huge and Steve was his first name.</em> Once, I had a bunch of Yu-Gi-Oh cards (my favorite card game) hidden inside my backpack, and when I was on the bus, I found out that they went through my backpack, and stole the cards. The next day, I confronted Steve and asked him if he stole my cards, and he said to me, &#8221;Do you think I play that Jewish shit?&#8221; <em>The trading card game itself is from japan, and what he said was just unbelievable. Wonderful people, aren&#8217;t they? </em> -_-</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">A couple of days later, I found the charred remains of my stolen cards near the forging machine, <em>Those B@$&amp;*%s!!</em> and after that, I have my trading cards locked in the teachers office nice and safe when I come to class. One day, when I was outside in the back of the shop, I saw Big Steve and some of the students pouring a can of gasoline inside the &#8221;Cat house.&#8221; <em>It&#8217;s a place where a bunch of stray cats go to eat catfood, drink water, and rest. I have no idea why the school put that there, but I could assume that&#8217;s the reason why California is in debt. And no, they didn&#8217;t set it on fire.</em> One day after that, when everyone got into class, my teacher was all saying, &#8221;Which one of you poured gas in the cat house?&#8221; <em>Prepare yourself, what happens next will SURPRISE you! <img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/17.0.2/72x72/1f600.png" alt="😀" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /> </em> I then said, &#8221;Hey teach!&#8221; and he said, &#8221;Yes Cecil?&#8221; and then I said, &#8221;I know who poured gas in the cat house!&#8221; <em>:3</em> And the teacher said &#8221;Who did?&#8221; And I said, &#8221;It was Steve, and those guys right there!&#8221;<em>Ha,Ha,Ha, Snitching simple-minded Cecil FTW! &gt;:) </em></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">After class started, Big Steve went up to me slowly, put his big meaty hands on my shoulders, and he said, &#8220;so, you like to talk shit, huh?&#8221; So then, the bullying continued. I got locked inside the shed out behind the shop, <em>Thank god the teacher found out I was locked in there or I would be in there all night, and my mom and Stepfather would be organizing a police search team!</em> My grades in the class were slipping due to Big Steve and the others, and I witnessed some of the students outside reading a porn magazine! 0_0 Soon, my mom got tired of the bullying, and she decided to tell one of my other teachers about the situation. His name was Mr Henderson. He was my Science Teacher, and one of the most popular teachers in the school. He was in his 40&#8217;s, though he looked very young. He was very nice and he actually let me bring my 2 guinea pigs to the class to show everyone in class. <em>Little did I realize, I was gonna remember this man forever, for the rest of my life, and so will everyone else.</em></p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">After hearing what my mom said, Mr Henderson invited me over to his class after school to talk about the bully. &#8220;What is Steve&#8217;s race/ethnicity?&#8221; he asked me. I then said, &#8221;He&#8217;s American.&#8221; <em>*facepalms* No, Cecil! American means anyone of different race and backgrounds who have citizenship in America! You&#8217;re supposed to say he&#8217;s &#8220;Caucasian!&#8221; LOL</em> I then told him every single thing that they did to me, and then after that, Big Steve was never seen again, <em>Probably kicked out of school.</em> and I was transferred to a different class.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">A couple of weeks later, my science class had a substitute teacher. I asked one of my classmates where Mr. Henderson was, and they said that he called in sick, and he won&#8217;t be in for a while. Then, one day at school, I found out the worst: Mr Henderson passed away while he was in the hospital. This sent a huge shock to every single person in the school, including my friends, my teachers, a girl that I liked, and me. I went home to my mom crying, and I tried to look in the local newspaper for any information about any funerals, because I wanted to attend it. Unfortunately, I couldn&#8217;t attend because his family wanted the funeral to be private.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">After these events, I got my learners permit from my driving teacher. I was the last person he graduated before he quit teaching drivers ed. to become head of school board. I graduated Armijo High School in the summer of 2006 with a high school diploma.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">My parents divorced and we were about to move. I went to my girlfriends house to say my final goodbye before the move. I never saw her again until I visited Facebook a couple years later, and then I decided that she has her own life now and that I should live my life and find another woman to be with and share my life with. <em>One of my dreams</em> We moved to Ohio and I lived there for a few years. I now live in North Carolina. <img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/17.0.2/72x72/1f642.png" alt="🙂" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /> </p>
<p style="text-align: center;">**********</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Thank you so much for sharing your story, Cecil. I think it is fantastic that you, with the help of your mom and a good teacher, were able to address a bad situation successfully.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">If anyone else has an experience they&#8217;d like to share, I&#8217;d be happy to hear it. Send it to me at lkgardner-griffie [ @ } griffieworld ( dot) com.<br /><small>By sending your story to me, you imply tacit consent for me to post the experience to share with my readers, unless otherwise specified in the email.</small></p>
<p>The post <a href="https://bethecatblog.com/2011/08/cecil-ftw/">Cecil FTW</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bethecatblog.com">Be the Cat</a>.</p>
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		<post-id xmlns="com-wordpress:feed-additions:1">1919</post-id>	</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Intolerance Factor</title>
		<link>https://bethecatblog.com/2011/07/the-intolerance-factor/</link>
					<comments>https://bethecatblog.com/2011/07/the-intolerance-factor/#respond</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Liana Gardner]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 Jul 2011 14:04:59 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Bullying]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Beyond Bullies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bullies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bully]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bullying]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dr. Michele Borba]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gordon Allport]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intolerance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[LK Griffie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reality check]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Nature of Prejudice]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://bethecatblog.com/?p=1855</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: justify;">My post <a href="https://bethecatblog.com/2011/07/when-0-27-percent-isnt-that-small/"><em>When 0.27 Percent Isn't That Small</em></a> made it into the internet newspaper <a href="http://paper.li/BeyondBullies/1299339264" target="_blank">Beyond Bullies</a> for July 11, 2011 and one of the other articles caught my eye: <a href="http://www.micheleborba.com/blog/2011/03/17/teaching-children-tolerance/" target="_blank"><em>Teaching Children Tolerance</em></a> on <a href="http://www.micheleborba.com/blog/" target="_blank">Reality Check by Dr. Michele Borba</a>.</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://bethecatblog.com/2011/07/the-intolerance-factor/">The Intolerance Factor</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bethecatblog.com">Be the Cat</a>.</p>
]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: justify;"><a href="http://www.micheleborba.com/blog/2011/03/17/teaching-children-tolerance/" target="_blank"><img decoding="async" src="http://www.lkgriffie.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/empathetic-child-300x293.jpg" alt="" title="empathetic-child" width="300" height="293" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-1533" /></a>My post <a href="https://bethecatblog.com/2011/07/when-0-27-percent-isnt-that-small/"><em>When 0.27 Percent Isn&#8217;t That Small</em></a> made it into the internet newspaper <a href="http://paper.li/BeyondBullies/1299339264" target="_blank">Beyond Bullies</a> for July 11, 2011 and one of the other articles caught my eye: <a href="http://www.micheleborba.com/blog/2011/03/17/teaching-children-tolerance/" target="_blank"><em>Teaching Children Tolerance</em></a> on <a href="http://www.micheleborba.com/blog/" target="_blank">Reality Check by Dr. Michele Borba</a>.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">I&#8217;m not going to rehash the entire <a href="http://www.micheleborba.com/blog/2011/03/17/teaching-children-tolerance/" target="_blank">article</a>, but will recommend you hop on over to Dr. Borba&#8217;s blog and read it for yourself because it makes several good points. But I&#8217;m going to share what about the article struck me the most. The article starts with a <em>Reality Check</em> statement which says that most hate crimes are committed by youth younger than nineteen. That statement caught my attention, but what really captured me was that the key reason for the escalation we are seeing in bullying is due to intolerance. </p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Dr. Borba has worked with hundreds of student focus groups across the country and after confirming that bullying is a big problem, Dr. Borba asked the students who the bullies choose as their victims. The number one word she hears in response is <em>Different</em>.</p>
<blockquote><p>The “different” terms kids list for children more likely to be bullied are endless: Too fat. Too thin. A speech problem. Band kids. Too shy or quiet. A different race. In the special ed class. Gifted or too smart. Cries easily. A loner. Gay. Too pretty. Too poor. Dresses funny. Too artsy. Just moved. Teacher’s pet.” In short, any kid who doesn’t fit in or blend in…any child who looks or acts a little bit out of the norm. Bullies too often target a victim based on race, ethnicity, age, religion, disability, beliefs, gender, appearance, behavior or sexual orientation.</p></blockquote>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Whatever happened to celebrating each person&#8217;s unique qualities? Social psychologist <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gordon_Allport" target="_blank">Gordon Allport</a> explored the roots of intolerance in <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Nature-Prejudice-25th-Anniversary/dp/0201001799" target="_blank"><em>The Nature of Prejudice</em></a>. His findings support the idea that children are born with the capacity for both tolerance and intolerance. Which trait becomes the dominant one depends on their upbringing.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Babies do not know the difference between girls and boys, but they tend to prize the unique and different. A baby explores their world with every sense available and if they have an object, say a toy, they look at it, touch it, smell it, taste it, and they try to make noise with it. Once they have explored all it has to offer, they may become bored with the toy and toss it away (or that could be a game to make you pick it up which is a delightful use of their time for hours on end). When they are done with that toy, they want something new to become acquainted with. What captures and holds their attention for a longer period of time is something different, something unique and unfamiliar. They may approach with caution, but ultimately will explore the new object, unless hurtful in some way, as they did the previous one.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Two and three year-olds have to be taught the difference between boys and girls. I will always remember my sister&#8217;s excitement when the little boy down the street finally called her a her instead of he or him. Children always question what they see, especially when it is different, and based on the response of the adult, they <em>learn</em> an attitude as well as the answer to their question. For example: If a child sees someone in a wheelchair and it is an unusual sight, then they might ask why that person doesn&#8217;t walk like the rest of us. If your response is to tell the child to hush because you&#8217;re afraid someone may take offense, then child learns that people in wheelchairs make you nervous and wheelchair-bound person becomes someone potentially to be feared. They are <em>different</em> and not in a good way. We need to realize the question was asked because the child is trying to make sense of something new (or a new realization) and answering the question in a direct, simple fashion is always best.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">If such a simple thing gives off vibrations of intolerance, whether it be with intent or not, what are your reactions to seeing something <em>&#8220;different&#8221;</em> and what does that say about your tolerance?</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://bethecatblog.com/2011/07/the-intolerance-factor/">The Intolerance Factor</a> appeared first on <a href="https://bethecatblog.com">Be the Cat</a>.</p>
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