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The mind of a writer is a strange thing. Or maybe I should qualify that and say the mind of some writers …. Because I can’t speak on behalf of all writers, but I know others who deal with some of the same things I do. My mind is kind of like a co-op with my characters. My stories are character driven, and in order to do that, I need to know how my characters would think, act, talk, feel in any given situation. They live in my head and speak to me to tell me the story line. I feel their emotions … sometimes over and over, in order to capture them on the page.

In July, 2011 I ran across an article about Samuel Hayes, who had drowned in a river with a blood alcohol content level of 0.27. Samuel was only sixteen-years-old. While I felt saddened by a life being cut short, the effect it had on my character, Katie McCabe was much greater. She asked to write a blog post about Samuel. A week later, we read an article about fourteen-year-old Takemi Rao who died of alcohol poisoning in her own home, and another post was written by Katie. We then went on an emotional journey as google searches revealed Samuel and Takeimi were not alone. More than 5,000 teens die every year due to alcohol related incidents. And sometimes, words are not enough, so Katie and I put together a video to help share our feelings about so many lives cut short. It wasn’t what they had a chance to do in life, but all the things they would never have a chance to experience which caused the greatest sorrow.

And there is a relevance for Katie which made her feel guilty. She has made the same sort of mistake Samuel, Takeimi, and the others made … but she didn’t die. Remembering What Isn’t To Be is the shortest piece in Diary of a Misfit, but if readers only remember one story in the collection, this is the one I hope sticks with them.

Takemi Rao, Samuel Hayes, Arman Partamian, Warren Kimber, Brett Elder, Shelby Lyn Allen, Dayne Cutler, Scotty Roberts, Dylan Lyford, Samara Stricklen, Elizabeth Mun, Paris Shorter, George Desdunes, Olivia Hyten, Jason Wren, Makamae Ah Mook Sang, Joe Loudon, Mackenzie Frazee, Karen Kappelman, Lexi Hagen—All these names have one thing in common—they died too soon.

Diary of a Misfit is available now for Kindle. A portion of the proceeds from Diary of a Misfit will go to the Shaka Franklin Foundation for Youth.

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It’s against the law.

A public awareness program educating communities and parents about the health and safety risks of serving alcohol at teen parties.

‘Tis the Season… for Graduation parties, summer get-togethers, relaxing camping weekends, and more. During these celebratory and relaxing times, we may also relax our guard a bit. It’s normal. We don’t want to always be the one saying “No.” As the adult host, we might tell ourselves to lighten up, that since we’re in charge nothing could possibly go wrong.

This phenomenon reminds me of when I was a teen and quickly learned the key to an enjoyable out-to-dinner-with-the-family event. My dad, when taking the family to dinner without any outsiders, was one of the grumpiest people on the planet. He told us what we could order and would get upset if we had the audacity to suggest that we really didn’t want the liver and onions just because it was the cheapest thing on the menu. In contrast to that, if one of us had invited a friend, my dad turned into the ultimate host—Mr. Congeniality. Everyone was able to order what they wanted, and dad told jokes throughout the course of the meal—lame jokes, for the most part, but that’s what dad’s do, right? He loved throwing parties and being the host…it made him happy.

The reality of the situation is that if you are the host and underage guests consume alcohol, you are the responsible party. Things just went from fun and relaxing to potential legal consequences. Drinking laws are in place for a reason, whether you agree with the laws or not, you are still subject to them. The bottom line is that teens don’t process liquor in quite the same way that adults do. It causes more damage faster. And teens, especially those who have been drinking, lack judgement as to what is “enough”.

The Parents Who Host, Lose The Most program was started in 2000 and it has been requested for replication in all 50 states, Canada, the Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico. And each year I see more and more stories about police cracking down and prosecuting the party hosts. So ask yourself whether it is worth it.

A Public Service Announcement from
Parents Who Host, Lose The Most: Don’t be a party to teenage drinking

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Basically what the article boils down to is that teens who consume five or more sodas per week are more likely to exhibit violent behavior and carry guns and/or knives and significantly more likely to have consumed alcohol or smoked. Unfortunately, they didn’t put a number around the potential for alcohol consumption likelihood, or the smoking, so we’re left to wonder what “significantly” works out to in real-world terms. They did however put a number against the potential for a teen to carry either a knife or a gun. If a teen consumes 14 or more sodas of the sugary variety per week (two per day or more for those who do not like to do the math), then they are 20% more likely to carry a knife or a gun. Actually, the alarming fact in the article to me was not that carrying weapons increases by 20% when someone is a high soda consumer, but that 23% of those polled carry either a knife or a gun on a regular basis. 23%!!!!! I see that I am going to have to rethink some of my characters and start including more who carry weapons.

It is also mentioned in the article that the high consumption of soda (more than five per week) has the same impact on the behavior in teens as alcohol, when it comes to an increase in violent behavior raising the potential from 9%-15% over those who do not consume sodas. Sara J. Solnick and David Hemenway of The University of Vermont and Harvard School of Public Health respectively, concluded that, “The influence of soft drink consumption on violence appears to be a ‘dose-response’ relationship, with effects visible at low levels of consumption and increasing with greater consumption.” Will this lead to pleas in court of “…it wasn’t my fault, Your Honor, I drank soda and couldn’t help myself.”?

Actually, the first thing that came to mind after reading the article was how interesting a study of soda consumption among authors and whether there is a correlation to the amount of suffering they inflict on their characters would be. Followed by the thought that we may need to start including soda consumption as a character trait prior to violent episodes.

The post The Twinkie Defense: Teen Drinking and Violence appeared first on Be the Cat.

This is hard. I’m struggling to find the words I want to say.

In July, after reading about Samuel and Takeimi, I couldn’t stop thinking about them. So I googled a few things and found out that Samuel and Takeimi are not alone. One story led to another. More than five thousand teenagers die every year because of alcohol in some way. That’s too many.

I felt like I needed to do something because thinking about Samuel and Takeimi would bring me to tears. It’s just so sad. Sarah told me it’s because Daddy’s death is still so close to me. I miss him so much it hurts, but my tears were for Takeimi and Samuel and all the others for the things that will never be, the things they’ll never get to do.

They only live on in memories. I never knew any of them personally, but through reading their stories, I feel like I carry a little piece of them in me. I have to stop now, or I’ll start bawling again. Please watch the video and remember.

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A couple of weeks ago Takeimi Rao was looking forward to starting high school, or at least that’s what I’d expect from a straight A student. But last week, during a slumber party all her dreams of what she was going to do with her life came to an end. She had three friends spending the night, and they decided to sneak some vodka and spike their sodas with it. I understand. I really do. They probably giggled as they poured the vodka into their drinks, because of the thrill of sneaking it. They were being daring, but “safe” because they were at Takeimi’s house. What could go wrong?

Three of the girls got sick, and Takeimi died. I’m sure she didn’t want to. She probably didn’t even know it could happen. She was only fourteen-years-old. The same age as me.

I’m not gonna lie…I’m no angel. I made the same mistake Takeimi did — not exactly the same, but close enough. From what I’ve read, Takeimi didn’t have a drinking problem, she was considered a “good girl”. In fact, she reminds me of my friend Jewelz in a way. She was outgoing, social, and loved music and theater, just like Jewelz.

The school and police keep saying that hopefully Takeimi’s death will cause parents to talk with their kids about how dangerous alcohol is. Especially for kids my age and younger. Daddy used to talk to me about drinking and why I shouldn’t do it. But I did anyway. Because even though I listened to his words, I didn’t really hear them. Not in a way that matters anyway. I thought he was just trying to scare me by exaggerating how dangerous it is.

Even after Tim and I burned down a shed, it didn’t click that if we hadn’t been drinking or smoking it wouldn’t have happened. It was just an accident. Maybe parents need to find examples like Takeimi and Samuel, kids just like us, and talk about what happened and why they’re afraid it might happen to us. I know their stories have hit home with me, and maybe I’ll remember the next time I’m tempted to take a drink.

It might not end so well.

And I’ll bet the kids who went to school with Takeimi won’t forget what happened to her. Would you?

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