The Blahs Hit

The photo for today involves fog because right now I’m feeling a bit foggy. Today I was focused on the day job and got a lot accomplished. The problem is that when I was done with the day, I suddenly realized I wasn’t feeling all that great. Nauseous, tired, and completely unmotivated to work on anything—even this post. HA!

But then I realized one beautiful thing … I’ve been going through chemo for 4 months now, and tonight I’m more nauseous than I’ve been the entire time … and it’s manageable. I was able to have something to eat (nothing fancy, a helping of mashed potatoes) and I have not become one with the great porcelain bowl. And I’m starting to feel a tad better. Not great, but not as lousy as I was before.

I saw my doctor yesterday and she mildly chastised me for not sharing all my symptoms with her. (Ironically, yesterday I felt great.) And I told her my journey was so relatively light, I don’t really think of the negative symptoms as negative. Yes, after every chemo session I go through a few days of turning into a gas factory … I take the anti-nausea medications she prescribed and keep it in check. Yes, every treatment cycle means I’ll retain water like a camel and it takes a couple weeks to get back to normal. Yes, the injection to boost my white count gives me a headache and backaches, sometimes more severe than others, but these are known side effects, and none of it is beyond my ability to deal with. Yes, I get tired after the treatments, but I’m encouraged by how much better my energy is getting in between treatments.

So the bottom line is, I don’t talk about feeling poorly because I really haven’t had a bad time of it. I know many others who have had a much rougher time, so I feel blessed. But since I am not feeling the swiftest tonight, I am not working on things (other than this post) will probably watch a movie or read a little and get some rest. Oh, and I absolutely attribute my ability to stay well to keeping myself isolated most of the time, and being diligent about wearing a surgical mask when having to go out in public at any time.

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4 Comments on “The Blahs Hit”

  1. Liana, sorry that I had to find out about your cancer via Linked in. Sounds like you are doing better and I know you will be fine, you are a strong woman. What kind of cancer is it? Cancer is an evil disease, it took my mother at 43 years of age, my sister had thyroid cancer recently but is doing fine.

    1. Hi Roger,

      The cancer is a combination of chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL) and small-cell non Hodgkin’s lymphoma (SLL) with some abnormalities. Without the abnormalities, all we’d be doing is monitoring my blood counts. With the abnormalities, I have to go through a 6 month course of chemo… but I have two months left, and then we’ll check to see whether the treatments were effective.

      I’m sorry to hear about your mom and so glad to hear your sister is doing fine. Much love to you and the family.

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