Bye Bye Remission

It has been 3 months since my last blog post. I feel like I’m starting a confessional. 😉 As you might tell from the title of this post, I am no longer in remission. The slightly elevated lymphocyte count decided to go on a bender and became a definitely elevated lymphocyte count. The little buggers decided to more than double over the past 3 months. Which is not exactly the results we wanted from this visit and we are still in wait and see mode.

unsinkablemollybrownA few weeks ago, a good friend said I reminded him of Molly Brown … the UNSINKABLE Molly Brown. I was honored by his comparison. Molly was a childhood hero of mine. No matter what happened, Molly fought and scratched and managed to survive and succeed against the odds. She survived the sinking of the Titanic and fought to do the right thing and go back to save more people who were in the water close to the Titanic as it sank. I have always identified with Molly, I wanted to be the type of person she was, always striving to be better, concerned and caring toward her fellow man, dusting herself off when she met with a setback and striding forward again. She had the will to succeed. The will to survive.

So do I.

While this news is not exactly welcome, it is also not the end of the world. I AM a survivor and will continue to keep my focus on eating the right foods, exercising, and getting enough rest. It’s the only thing, outside of prayer, I can do to help effect any change in my body. The results were not a surprise to me. I have not been feeling 100% for a while now. And certain of the small symptoms have been creeping back in, like:

  • Easy bruising
  • Small blood vessel bursting to create blood blisters
  • Higher fatigue levels
  • And the dreaded night sweats have become worse

All of these things were a precursor to my diagnosis in the first place, so as they have been increasing I have had a sinking feeling that my counts were getting out of whack. But other than that, I feel okay. And for today, okay will do fine.

What comes next? Well, we are still monitoring the development, so I go back in another 3 months and we do this all over again. The only changes I need to make are to make sure I exercise additional caution with regards to being around people. My doc has told me to stay away from sick people again, since my ability to fight off infection is once again compromised. So limiting exposure to crowds, making sure I don’t get exposed if someone comes into the office with a cold, if I see someone hacking and sneezing … run the other way. In other words, stay as healthy as I can.

What can you do??? Say some prayers, or send good juju to the Universe, and join me in thinking positive thoughts because I have way too much to accomplish to succumb to failings on the part of my body. 😉

The mountains at the top of this post are to remind me that I scale mountains every day and the only way to get to the peak is to keep climbing, no matter how many times you slip and fall. If you fall, you get up, clean off the scrapes, ignore the bruises, and continue moving forward.

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11 Comments on “Bye Bye Remission”

  1. I’m so sorry to hear this news. Sounds like you are in the best mindset you can be. Of course I am keeping you in my thoughts & prayers, sending the best juju & healthy vibes your way!!!!!

  2. Heavy news. I had cancer 30 years ago. Each time my body forces me to remember it, each time I’m tested for it, I am terrified of another positive. I don’t want to go back there again. Each time a survivor I know is no longer in remission, it feels very personal to me. I want to battle on their behalf against our common enemy. At the same time, I understand when you say it is not the end of the world. We survived.

    The Molly Brown House is not far from where I live. That’s “not far” on a Wide, Wild West scale. You have inspired me to visit it. When I do, I’ll be thinking of you and sending prayers. In the meantime, many prayers and good vibes. I’ll be consciously sending my full support. *big hug*

  3. I am so sorry you are going through this. But I am proud of the way you do not let this define you. My thoughts and prayers are with you on this journey. Thank you for sharing this. Hugs (I am doing this through cyber so I won’t infect you with anything!).

  4. I’m so sorry to hear that. Sometimes it’s easy to feel defeated and want to give up, but I’ve never seen that from you. You’re an amazing, strong woman and I salute you. Keep fighting the good fight, and know that you have so many standing behind you at all times. xoxoxo

  5. Well, crap. I don’t want this for you. But I know you will face it with grace, fight it with ferocity, and come out on top once more.

  6. Never give up, never lose hope,and always know there are people who care for you. Even ones who have been out of your life for a long time.

  7. That is definitely bad news. I wish this were not happening. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  8. Dana informed me yesterday and I’m so sorry to hear about this! Fortunately you are a badass fighter! Sending all of my positive healing juju your direction!!?

  9. Lk, I can’t tell you how heartbreaking this is to read. I’m most definitely praying for you and after reading, I have to say that Molly Brown is incredible inspiration. She didn’t go down, neither will you. 🙂 you got this.

  10. You are an inspiration to us all, in sickness and in health. We are here for you. We stand with you. We support, encourage and pray with you. Your spirit and strength are unsinkable.

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