And So It Begins … Again

When I saw the oncologist last week we didn’t have the results from the CT Scan. I saw my regular physician this week and he had the results. And I’ll be candid … they aren’t good. The scan revealed what I already knew — that the nodule on my neck was not the only lymphoma mass that would be found. In fact, by the time I went to the doctor this week, a few more had made their presence known. I have a smattering in the neck area, one in the chest, and several in the abdomen. My doctor, who is a cautious physician, wants me to discuss prognosis with the oncologist. And being me, I asked what value it would have to know a number that is going to be inaccurate anyway?

My first acts to accomplish in 2017 is to get my affairs in order. Not because I believe I’m dying or that I won’t recover, but because it needs to be done and has been on my mind for some time and it is time to stop procrastinating. EVERYONE should have their affairs in order. You never know when that bus is going to run you over. Plain and simple. No one is guaranteed any specific time on this Earth. And now that I’ve said that, I have NO intention of going anywhere anytime soon. I have too much to accomplish with my life and I intend to do it.

My doctor was a little down with my results. My lab results are bad. My scan results are bad. But I was ready to dance a jig because the scan results had one result that made me very, very happy. I have been having near constant pain under my left rib cage for a few weeks, and eating certain foods made it extremely painful, which I have been finding out by trial and error. When with the oncologist, we discussed and we both felt it might be an enlargement of the spleen. Which is something you DON’T want. The scan results showed that my spleen was perfectly normal and the area where the pain is coming from is where there are some lymphoma lumps taking up space. We’re getting ready to blast those with chemo, so they will be going bye-bye, and I’ll just have small, soft meals in the meantime. But there was one little problem. I didn’t have the chemo meds yet and didn’t know when they would arrive. My doc got the oncologists office on the line and asked them to find out what was going on as he wanted me on the chemo immediately. There had been a slight mix-up and the meds had not been ordered, but they got it straightened out same day, and I received the shipment yesterday.

The chemo comes from a specialty pharmacy and so far I am incredibly impressed. They provide a mechanism to help you remember whether you have taken your medication or not as well as timer to put on the bottle cap that will alert you that it is time to take your next dose. And for me, this is fabulous. I don’t do pill dispensers well (it is such a hassle to fill them for me), so the little thing to flip it to show that you’ve taken it IS something I can do. Especially as it sticks directly on the bottle itself. And the timer??? Brilliant. Especially when I lose track of time so easily. Then after they arrived, the pharmacist called and went over how I am to take the medication, what to do, what not to do, and to let me know that they had trained staff available via phone 24/7 if I had any questions or couldn’t reach my doctor.

I will shortly be taking my second dose. So far, so good. A brief period of wooziness, but other than that feeling the same. The biggest thing for me to figure out was when to schedule the dose because I have to take on an empty stomach, so nothing 2 hours prior and 1 hour after (except water), and it has to be taken at the same time every day (hence the handy dandy timer). When I saw that it may cause dizziness, I decided to wait until after I had seen the knee doctor yesterday (yes, I managed to get some fluid on my knee that was giving me some trouble), so I felt after dinner would be good. That way, if I’m not feeling well, I can simply go to bed.

The picture at the top of the post fits the mood right now so perfectly. Yes, there is darkness, but the light is shining through. I am filled with hope and am so encouraged to be taking action to beat this cancer back down into submission. I am blessed in my friends and the number of people who care about me, I will never be able to say Thank You enough.

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16 Comments on “And So It Begins … Again”

    1. It should know me by now. 😉 And yes, stubborn is the word. The brightness of my light comes from everyone else and heaven above. Love you, darlin’.

  1. I’m sorry, and impressed. I’m sorry you have to deal with this, and impressed with your attitude and spirit.

    1. {{{{{Hugs}}}}} and thank you. We sometimes don’t choose our road, but I am choosing how I travel down it. I have watched you do the same.

  2. Thank you for sharing your story. You’ve inspired me to get my affairs in order. You’re absolutely right: none of us knows. I applaud you for your attitude and will follow your example. Love and hugs!

    1. I grew up with an example about attitude in my father, who beat the odds by over 30 years because he never gave up and never gave in to it. We can work on getting things in order in 2017. Has to be done. Might as well be now.

      Love and hugs back.

  3. You know if you need ANYTHING, your writer community of friends and colleagues and cheerleaders will be here to listen and you can always PM me if you need to just rant or cry in person. You are NOT walking this journey alone… it is your body, but we are your collective support system and we are here for you. Hugs.

    1. Thank you so much, Susan. I am blessed by the support system I have from doctors, to family, to friends, and as you say, a community. Alone physically, but never in spirit or on my journey. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

  4. That timer is an amazing idea! I know that goes without saying, but 2017 is going to be an incredible year. One where you kick cancer’s ass and then set the publishing world on fire. And we’ll all be here, cheering you on every step of the way. Love you, LK!

    1. SOMEONE must have known I would be taking this medication and developed something to be as LK-Proof as possible. What’s more is that the battery life is a year, and the timer comes with a bay with 2 spare batteries. They really thought things through. And YES!!!! We have many things to accomplish in 2017. Love you so much. <3

  5. The world needs more people like you, LK. People who relentlessly live their lives and leave a a tidal wave positivity (yeah, I made it up) in their wake. You seriously inspire me daily. I love you, woman!

    1. Love the tidal wave of positivity…beats sitting in a corner rocking because life dealt a card you don’t like. God is my Ace in the hole … and He will bring me through this. I love you, too!!!

  6. Hi, LK. Your tenacity and determination are inspiring. I found a lump on Christmas Eve. I will see my gyno on the 4th when I get back in to town. Getting my affairs in order is now at the top of my list. With a 10-year-old little boy and a divorce pending it is of utmost importance regardless of what the the results are. Thank you for sharing your journey. Love, light, and strength my friend.

    1. Love, light, and strength right back to you. I’m sorry to hear about the lump, but will pray that it has been caught early or benign.

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