My Status: Overall good day.
Mood: Cheerful
Today started off after an unusual, but completely welcomed, good night sleep—only to be followed by the first bump in the journey. I’ll talk about the bump after the chemo update, but suffice it to say that it rocked me harder than I expected.
I think it is apropos to post about bravery on Veteran’s Day. I didn’t choose the topic because of the day, but it fits perfectly. I chose to talk about bravery today because I want to talk about a specific aspect and tomorrow will be too late. One comment I have heard from several folks is how brave I’m being. I’m not.
I doubt I will posting quite this often once we get into things, but I figured I should probably get this one out while I still had a few minutes before lastminuteitis sets in and I’m running all over the place trying to remember all the stuff I need to get done. Because tomorrow that will be me… without a doubt.
I found out this past Thursday (11/7/13) that I will need to have chemotherapy and my first treatment cycle begins Tuesday (11/12/13), which doesn’t give me a lot of time to prepare. And that may be a good thing. Less time for my mind to dream up all the possibilities. It forces me to focus.
I recently went to the doctor because I knew there was something not functioning correctly. Sure enough, I had a flare up of diverticulitis. So armed with antibiotics and the doctor’s instructions to stay on clear liquids for the week, I returned home to battle it off. With the number of times I’ve had to do clear liquids, you’d think it’d get easier. It doesn’t. Then I returned after a week for the re-check and to review the blood results … and had a bit of a surprise waiting for me.
When I ran across the photo of the rose, I knew immediately it summed up everything I needed for the piece named, Daddy’s Death. The bud, wilted and drooping, yet the stalk still straight and the leaves green. When we lose a loved one, it is how we feel; as if our essence has been sapped, we’re wilted, our life is crumpling around the edges, and yet, there is still life, and it flows around us. It was so perfect to me, I almost left the title and name off the cover—there was no need for anything else.
It has been a long time since I’ve had the chance to sneak some time in on Mama’s laptop. But I figured since she’s busy mopping the floors, I’d have a chance to jot a quick post off. It has been one rough week for this pup. Let me tell you what happened…